the Lunatics; meet Eve

My name is Eve. I grew up sitting in trees. My father called me 'The parrot'. When he saw me running on the ground barefoot and wobbly (the tree gave me sea-legs) he would exclaim, "Now, what is The Parrot doing out of her tree?" When I came down my mother would feed me medicine. I drank glasses of pepto-bismal when the other children drank milkshakes. She claims that I liked it especially though a straw. As a result I had a perpetual stomach ache and I think that I have some developmental problems. For example I can't remember the names of birds and certain colors make me throw fits.

Some things you should know about me. I spent my limb-bound childhood dreaming of being a polar explorer at McMurdock Station. I am from a fairly, fairly small town called Tell City, where bad news grew on trees. Nobody from that place had any luck. Just take me! My father shot himself, my mother aged at twice the normal rate and is scared of her own shadow, my poor aunt is the size of a house, and I, having already lived a substantial portion of my life (I don't expect to live too long), have never even set foot on the South Pole. Closest I think I've come is when one of the lunatics cracked the ice in the pond and smashed my head under so I could see the world from under beneath the freeze. It looked like light coming in through church windows. It was a long cold minute I spent under there and I longed for a layer of fat like seals have to keep them warm. I didn't run out of breath because he would yank my head out every now so that I could hear what he was saying to (shouting at) me:

Head out: "You bounce for me! You bounce for me now! You don't bounce with anybody else!"

Head back under: silver bubbles, white ice, silence

Head out: "YOU UNDERSTAND ME NOW GODDAMNED IT EVIE YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU'RE-"

Head back under...

and so it went. But it mustn't get to you. That is how a lunatic speaks when he is In Love.