this didn't work, either

But I try to be concise, because my words are useless, and my love was useless, and all I ever wanted to was make him laugh:

There were a thousand things he would have died for. his family, his friends, his team, the girlfriend before me that he still needed, an big infuriating blonde kid who may have been a cartoon character, a girl far away he barely knew.

David is listening.

But not me. i leaned forward. Not me, do you get that?

Keep going.

that is the one thing he could have said that would have allowed me to leave. He went away but he never came back. I would die for everything in my life, except you.

But he never said this outloud? My professor asks.

He never had to.

So what happened?

Here is what happened. He was here, with me. And then he went away. But he never came home. Someone else came back and took his place, but he's different. He's a different person, he's angry and sarcastic and when I look at him, he flinches. The person I loved- he's gone now. Lightyears away. Is that clear enough?

David says, clear enough. and you're right. it's mediocre.

David says, try this. Tell it from his perspective.

We used to watch things, underground, in glass cages. We once walked under sharks.

David says, if he could reach you, what would he tell you?

I know immediately.
I'm sorry. I miss you. I love you. Forgive me.

David jumps up- YES! the only things so far you've said worth writing. Beautiful but- and he sits down again, and laughs at me- you're delusional.