from "Wild"

I drank something, I don't know what it was, Julian gave it to me- I felt great. I flew home drunk. Twelve minutes into bed and I it was back again, the ticking, the waiting, the absence of trajedy just waiting for something gloomy to swoop through and fill it. I took half of a sleeping pill- then another, then a third half and then a fourth. I took two sleeping pills. Still drunk from Julian's poison a veiled concern arose in the framgent of my mind and I realized that I had technically just attempted suicide- I was at that moment attempting to kill myself. Without intent, but intent mattered very little in the court of law when someone's dead. Maybe a sentence degree. If I were to go in and explain the situation they would put me on suicide watch for 48 hours and then all the counseling...I knew because it had happened before. I had fallen neatly, arms out, onto twin horse shoe rings that were embedded in the ground and surprisngly sharp, and split both wrists down the vein. I had been surprised by the amount of blood. I was twelve. I had no idea what suicide was or else I probbably would have tried it by then.